Don’t be a “Maskhole”

I’m going to take a moment to share a completely pragmatic, apolitical argument about mask wearing.

I’m not going to appeal to science, although there’s plenty of it. I’m not going to appeal to your feelings of belonging to one particular group or other. I don’t care what you think is in the Constitution (it’s not).

I’m here to tell you, don’t be a maskhole.

There are two inarguable reasons to wear the mask.

1. Whether you like it or not, the mask order (where there is a mask order) is in place. This means that businesses have to require customers to wear them. That means that minimum-wage-earning teenagers who have to deal with a bunch of cranky Karens all day long and have probably missed out on their graduations, parties, and everything that teenagers care about, have to tell people three times their age who should definitely know better by now, to wear masks. They don’t want to, but they have to. Don’t make their jobs harder than they already are. Don’t be a maskhole. Wear the mask.

2. This pandemic is universally terrible. Nobody likes it. We all want it to end as soon as possible, for so. many. reasons. If there is even the tiniest modicum of a chance that wearing masks will end this dumpster fire of an experience five minutes faster, we all should be scrambling to do it. In fact, most experts think it will do much more than that.

Masks are a minor inconvenience at worst. Having the economy shut down again is a tragedy. Not being able to hug our grandparents for the foreseeable future is a tragedy. Losing more jobs, and canceling more weddings and birthdays and baby showers and graduations and sports seasons is a tragedy. More people getting infected and dying is a tragedy.

There’s no argument here. If it MIGHT help, we should do it. If dancing naked every morning in my yard slathered in hand sanitizer while praising the virus gods would end this pandemic earlier, I’d do that too. Thankfully, masks are easier. And less chilly.

Stop with the tantrums. We get it. You don’t like being told what to do. Like every toddler, teenager, and apparently baby boomer out there, being told what to do makes you feel ANGRY. That’s fine. Feel angry. Just do it with a mask on.